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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23268448">You stopped me, now let me stop you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkspirit/pseuds/Darkspirit'>Darkspirit</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, Family Issues, Gen, Guilt, Male-Female Friendship, Steven Universe Needs Therapy, Trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 07:28:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,777</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23268448</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkspirit/pseuds/Darkspirit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Lapis had discovered what Steven was going to do in Fragments episode?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lapis Lazuli &amp; Peridot (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli &amp; Steven Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>91</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You stopped me, now let me stop you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was supposed to be a short flight of relaxation. Just 20 or 30 minutes to see the world and then she would be back to her art studio and to her classes.</p><p> </p><p>If she was honest with herself, Lapis was trying to be strict with her time of free-flying because the last time she flew nonstop was when she ran away and abandoned Peridot and Steven, and she didn't want to remind or make her little green friend believe that she was leaving again so this schedule in her breaks was necessary to prove it.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, when Peridot asked her one day where she was going, Lapis got nervous and thought that maybe her friend was thinking what she didn't want her to think, so, a bit awkwardly, she explained her.</p><p> </p><p>Fortunately, Peridot was understanding.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>'Don't worry, Lapis. You've made a mistake but you came back and fought with us against the Diamonds; this now is just you taking a break. There is no need for explanations. Just be careful out there, the weather can be unpredictable sometimes' </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>'Thanks, Peri, I will' </em>
</p><p> </p><p>However, the weather wasn't what made her flight turbulent but another sight. One that spelled wrong in any way. Many kilometers away she could see someone floating (?), flying (?), it was hard to differentiate until Lapis noticed the bright neon pink covering that person's whole body. The wrongness intensified when a bunch of shields appeared out of nowhere many feet beneath her and trapped another person in an improvised prison.</p><p> </p><p>Wait a second...</p><p> </p><p>That wasn’t any person. It was Jasper!</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes couldn't believe it, but Lapis' shock went skyward once she recognized the owner of those shields. Their color was pink, they were transparent, they had another shape.</p><p> </p><p>Only one person had that ability and her mind and heart, though immaterial, felt like lead due to the realization.</p><p> </p><p>Steven was doing this, but why?</p><p> </p><p>What the hell was going on?</p><p> </p><p>There was no time to demand an explanation, for a giant wall made of many hexagonal pink shields -and it even had huge spikes!- was sent immediately at them, well at Jasper to be exact.</p><p> </p><p>What on stars did Jasper do to Steven for him to want to shatter her?</p><p> </p><p>Did she attack him? Did she try to exact revenge or something?</p><p> </p><p>Did she hate Era 3 to the point of destroying Steven who made it true?</p><p> </p><p>Whatever it was, it didn't matter as much as stopping him from committing such an atrocity.</p><p> </p><p>She accelerated and went straight to the deadly spike-covered giant wall, transforming her water wings into water hands to grab and throw it somewhere else. However, the speed of the wall was higher and its size required for Lapis to use a colossal amount of water if she wanted to protect Jasper successfully, and there was no time! </p><p> </p><p>Her eyes looked at the trapped quartz who might be wondering why Lapis was helping her. If the blue gem could talk to her right now it would be just to tell Jasper that whatever Steven was going to do to her, she brought it to herself. </p><p> </p><p>Lapis wasn't saving Jasper, despite the technicality of her actions that spelled 'I'm trying to save you'. In fact, it was Steven the one she was trying to save because shattering in his eyes should always be condemned and he was the guy who stopped and changed the Diamonds without shattering, but now he wanted to destroy Jasper. It was so not-Steven, Lapis couldn't get it nor allow it even if she still hated the quartz. </p><p> </p><p>Steven was a hero, a builder, a teacher, a friend, a savior. Not a shatterer.</p><p> </p><p>But even with all that knowledge, the huge spiked wall didn't stop accelerating and the distance between Lapis and the ground, Jasper and a very gruesome death was getting smaller at every second. </p><p> </p><p>Well, in hindsight she should've stopped Steven first instead of the wall but her mind was in too much shock to analyze what option was safer and wiser. </p><p> </p><p>Despair got the best of her. Without any ideas except running away -though that didn't seem possible at the moment- or accelerate as much as she could to stop the deadly wall, the only thing that could prevent both her and Jasper's doom would be a miracle like Steven coming to his senses before the worst happened. </p><p> </p><p>Which, honestly, was asking too much. </p><p> </p><p>Unless...</p><p> </p><p>"STEVEN, STOP THIS!!!" Now yelling was the third option but it didn’t seem to do anything "STEVEN, YOU HAVE TO STOP!!! YOU'RE NOT LIKE THIS!!!" </p><p> </p><p>Lapis exerted more strength and speed to the point of feeling slight cracks on her gemstone, something had to change, or else he would regret this and hate himself forever. That and the horrible images of death that she didn't want to be realized. </p><p> </p><p>"STOP, STEVEN!!!" <em>You need to stop! Don't do this!</em> "STEVEN!!!!" </p><p> </p><p>Then blackness and silence consumed her. </p><p> </p><p>------------------------</p><p> </p><p>A light appeared in the area, it started to take form slowly into slender figure and then, an exhausted Lapis fell to her knees. </p><p> </p><p>"Ugh... W-What happened?" </p><p> </p><p>Before she could ask another question, the gem was enveloped in a bear hug by Steven who mumbled 'I'm sorry', 'I didn't mean to', 'What were you thinking?' multiple times. The kid was a sobbing mess, trembling like jelly, his tears dampening Lapis' blue hair. </p><p> </p><p>"S-Steven?" Confusion ruled her mind for what seemed an eternity until she remembered what had happened moments before. Steven going to shatter Jasper for whatever reason, his powers out of control, she trying to save him by saving the quartz, her imminent death, then darkness. </p><p> </p><p>A very disturbing and terrifying question came to her mind, she didn't want to ask it but it was necessary. </p><p> </p><p>Though, first Steven needed some comfort right now. </p><p> </p><p>"Hey, hey Steven, i-it's ok. It's ok. I'm ok" she hugged him and rubbed circles on his back, her friend tightened the hug as if he believed she was going to disappear.</p><p> </p><p>"It was my fault. It was all my fault. Lapis, what the fuck were you thinking?! I didn't know--" </p><p> </p><p>"Steven, I'm fine. None of this is your fault" </p><p> </p><p>That, unfortunately, wasn't the best answer. </p><p> </p><p>"Don't you dare to say that!!" Just like that, Steven went neon pink and if glares could kill, Lapis would be a bunch of shards already. </p><p> </p><p>"Don't you fucking dare to say that, Lapis!! Do you have any idea how close you and Jasper were to be shattered?! YOU COULD'VE DIED!! BOTH OF YOU COULD'VE DIED!! And I-- And I didn't-- I though I almost-- I could've--"</p><p> </p><p>She was lost. </p><p> </p><p>How is she going to stop him to beat himself in the state he was in?</p><p> </p><p>Lapis was clueless and awkward in the comfort zone, which was more Steven and even Peridot's specialty. </p><p> </p><p>However, the more she saw him falling apart because of this mess, the more she knew she had to do something. </p><p> </p><p>And even if she had no idea how Lapis had to try. </p><p> </p><p>"Steven, look at me," she said with a firm but calm voice, maybe too calm for these circumstances "Please, look at me"</p><p> </p><p>The kid was uncertain and kept sobbing nonstop, Lapis then put her hand on his shoulder to get his attention. </p><p> </p><p>"Please, Steven" </p><p> </p><p>He remained looking at the ground for some minutes until his gaze was directed at her with nervousness, fear, and guilt. </p><p> </p><p>"Look, I don't know what was going on between you and Jasper. And I don't know why you were going to, you know, shatter her or just poof her in...a very violent way" Lapis, in her mind, facepalmed herself for this approach but gather as much courage as she could to keep going "But, I know that wasn’t you. You changed the minds of the Diamonds without violence or shattering. You're a hero"</p><p> </p><p>"I almost became a murderer" </p><p> </p><p>"As I said that wasn’t you. Remember when I was going to pummel to the ground those two Lapises?" </p><p> </p><p>Steven nodded while sniffing. </p><p> </p><p>"Well, when I was this close doing it, I looked at you and then I realized that my solution wasn't a solution at all. It could've made everything worse. You stopped me from doing something I would regret. I guess it was my time to repay you because you don't deserve this kind of madness if that's the right term"</p><p> </p><p>"But you could've died! I almost killed both of you! How can you still see me as your friend after what I did?!"</p><p> </p><p>"Did you really want to shatter her?" It was blunt though a really important question.</p><p> </p><p>Steven opened his mouth and closed it. He shook his head as if that could clear it enough.</p><p> </p><p>"I... I wasn't thinking... No, in fact, I wasn't being myself. It's just... I was so, so mad. I've been feeling so down and then so angry at, I don't know, at anything lately that I couldn't think clearly and then..."</p><p> </p><p>"Then, that means you didn't want to destroy her. Look, Steven, I won't ask for an explanation, you don't need that right now. What you need is to stop beating yourself"</p><p> </p><p>"But I have to! It was my fault! I couldn't stand it! I couldn't stand being there, Lapis!"</p><p> </p><p>"Being...where?"</p><p> </p><p>"The Beach House! It's just... It was so suffocating! They were suffocating me! I know Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl didn't mean to be like this and after what happened with me and-and my dad on that trip they were concerned, but I felt cornered and they couldn't take a no for an answer even when I NEEDED SPACE!!!!"</p><p> </p><p>"Steven--"</p><p> </p><p>"Then I had to go to Jasper and tell her why I paid her a visit. And then after a fight, I asked her to train me so I could control my powers--"</p><p> </p><p><em>WAIT, WHAT?!</em> Did Steven choose Jasper, of all people, as a mentor?! Did she hear right?!</p><p> </p><p>"--which I thought could help but it didn’t, because I almost destroyed her and you went to stop me and I almost destroyed you!"</p><p> </p><p>Steven was starting to hyperventilate which was a much worse sign than his endless crying, she immediately hugged him, careful to not make him feel overwhelmed. Her right hand rubbed circles on his back while he returned the hug and wept.</p><p> </p><p>How much time passed since that? Lapis had no idea, neither Steven, but the fact that he was more composed and not succumbing to a panic attack was good enough for her to see that her choice to calm him down really worked. Now, the next problem was what to do from there?</p><p> </p><p>"What do you wanna do now?" She asked out of curiosity because ideas were non-existent on her mind.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know..." he cleaned his eyes from the tears and sniffed "I can't come back to the Beach House, not yet. Or else they will corner me with questions and I'll snap. I just... I want to take a break" </p><p> </p><p>"What if you go to my art studio? I can make a space for you to sleep there" </p><p> </p><p>"Lapis, I almost shattered you. I don't want to be now a burden that--" </p><p> </p><p>"You're NOT a burden," She said that with such a sense of finality that Steven didn’t know what to say "I mean it, Steven. You're my friend. You've done so much for us, for everyone. Now let me help you, you deserve it more than anything"</p><p> </p><p>He was speechless and a bit doubtful for some minutes until a resigned sigh escaped from his mouth and the boy nodded.</p><p> </p><p>Lapis smiled, relieved. She put herself in position and invited Steven to get a hold of her back before they went to Little Homeworld. He slowly accommodated and both flew away. </p><p> </p><p>The journey, though short, was tense. Lapis still had a lot of questions about Steven's story and especially about Jasper. Not that she cared about the quartz, but if Steven was in that state of mind it meant that maybe, just maybe, Jasper didn't survive the attack and her efforts to save her and prevent Steven to do something crazy were for nothing which was really worrying. </p><p> </p><p>Well, there was one way to find out. </p><p> </p><p>"Steven" </p><p> </p><p>"Mmmm?" He was a bit lost, inside of his own mind, but still responsive. </p><p> </p><p>"You--" she took a bit of time to elaborate the question so Steven wouldn't feel suffocated and continued, "You said that Jasper was almost shattered, right?" His body tensed, Lapis felt it. </p><p> </p><p>A part of her told her to drop the issue, the other insisted on knowing, it was for Steven. </p><p> </p><p>"W-What happened to her? Did she leave?"</p><p> </p><p>"No" </p><p> </p><p>That 'no' was ambiguous, Lapis was going to ask what Steven meant when he spoke again. </p><p> </p><p>"I healed her gem as fast as I did yours... Then... Then I bubbled her and sent her to the cave, where she lives. I waited half an hour later for you to reform" </p><p> </p><p>Oh, so that happened. </p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry" It broke her heart having to hear from the kindest person in the world an apologize as if he was a criminal when Steven was anything but that. </p><p> </p><p>"Steven, even if you don't want to hear it or believe it, I want you to remember that what happened wasn't your fault. You weren't yourself. Besides, you healed both of us. And you're the most caring person I know. There is nothing that can change that"</p><p> </p><p>Steven didn’t respond, but his body seemed to have relaxed, even if it was a little bit.</p><p> </p><p>It will take time, that's for sure. However, he wouldn't be alone to get through this. </p><p> </p><p>--------------------</p><p> </p><p>The rest passed in a blur. </p><p> </p><p>When they arrived at Lapis' art studio, she started putting some things here and there and unpacked her hammock which, by a miracle, had survived when she threw the whole barn to Blue Diamond's face. Even Steven was surprised at that which amused her. </p><p> </p><p>"Are you sure that I can use it? I don't want to break it like I almost did with--" </p><p> </p><p>"Steven, I told you, it's fine. The more you get comfortable in my hammock and take the rest you deserve, the better you'll feel" </p><p> </p><p>"I don't think I'll feel better though" </p><p> </p><p>She put a hand on his shoulder encouragingly. "Trust me, you will. Right now, you need space and rest to process all of this at your own pace"</p><p> </p><p>"Well...if you say so. But what about Garnet and the others? They might be worried sick, looking for me like crazy. And I don't know if I can deal with them, not right now" </p><p> </p><p>"Then I'll deal with them. If they ask me about where you are I'll tell them you decided to pay me a visit and rest there for a while" </p><p> </p><p>"I don't want you to be in trouble because of me" </p><p> </p><p>"You're not causing me trouble. Besides, if I could take those three before, I can do it now. I'll tell them you need space to think and time to take a break, they'll understand"</p><p> </p><p>"And what about...?" He gulped but continued nonetheless "What about what I almost did to you and Jasper?" </p><p> </p><p>"If you don't want them to know then we can keep it a secret, something between us" </p><p> </p><p>"No offense, but I'm sick of secrets," He said bitterly, remembering all the crap he had to go through because of his mother's lies and secrets. </p><p> </p><p>Lapis mused for a moment until she got an idea, "What if we keep this between us until you feel ready to tell Garnet and the others what happened? Don't worry, when that moment comes, I'll accompany you"</p><p> </p><p>Steven still looked doubtful, but his head nodded slightly. Lapis hugged him to make him feel better which he appreciated. </p><p> </p><p>Moments later, he was deeply asleep in her hammock. </p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile, Lapis was sitting in one of the chairs of her studio. Numb and confused as hell. </p><p> </p><p>The blue gem didn't know how, but if she didn't find a way to process all the madness of today, she would surely poof from stress. </p><p> </p><p>This day couldn't have been more catastrophic and crazy, but it proved her wrong. </p><p> </p><p>Lapis just hoped that after this 'incident' -if that term could encompass the whole roller coaster of emotions experienced- Steven would feel better. </p><p> </p><p>He clearly needed a wiser way to deal with his powers than asking Jasper for help. Well, it's not that the blue gem was better in the 'asking for help correctly' department. </p><p> </p><p>Stars! She didn't want to imagine the reactions of Bismuth and Peridot once she felt ready to tell them about this.</p><p> </p><p>They would completely freak out.</p>
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